Open Letter to Christine Brimberry

CBOle’ ray o’ sunshine here..

Hello Christine,

I am a distant cousin of yours from my Dad’s side. From what my Dad’s told me, Thomas C******k, your grandfather, is his cousin. Your dad L***** C******k is Dad’s second cousin. And that the combined families are huge.

One of the last times I was out in California was around 2014. It was Dad’s 75th Bday, I was staying in the US for about a month and our plan at some stage was for Dad and I to drive to Texas for me to meet some of our cousins (which we did).

Before we left for the trip, Dad made mention that you were on some reality TV show. I asked him for your name and I’d see if I could find you online and maybe say hi to you on Facebook.

I found you on Facebook and decided to message you first. Here’s how are conversation roughly went down (not verbatim as I didn’t save it):

Me: Hi, I think we’re related. My dad is Lou Sanders (a brief description of the family tree, and I think a link to my website).

You: Are you from Australia?

Me: Yes, living in Melbourne for the last 18 years.

You: Oh. Hi.

And that was it. Riveting. I think you had even blocked me after that..Thanks!! I could see how reaching out to a distant relative could really piss a person off!! The nerve!!

I will admit, at the time this occurred I was pretty hurt, confused, and angry. Why am I made to feel like an asshole when I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong? I thought the FB exchange would have gone down a lot cooler; maybe a hello, an add on FB, a general chat, and maybe a sporadic to and fro on FB walls, nothing major.

Our plan on the way to Tyler TX was to drop by your dad’s house for the day, en route he had said to come on down..then called back and said not to. Was this at your request? I didn’t think much of it until later. Too bad, Dad and I are a fuckin’ HOOT!! We’re like Laurel and Hardy (except we’re both the fat one..)

After awhile I forgotten about the whole thing and life went on.

Until 2017. Wife and I were staying in the city at a hotel in Melbourne and a Discovery Channel ad came on the about the new season of Fast N’ Loud. I saw you and immediately that shitty little FB exchange rushed into my head and it pissed me off all over again. Only this time I wasn’t gonna let it go.

So, exactly what did I do on FB to piss you off? Send you  a link to my website? I did that so you could see I’m into heavy music and I also have tattoos, nothing more..Things we have in common, ya know? Not sure if you are into heavy music but there ya go..just trying to connect to family on my Dad’s side.

So I’ve come up with a few scenarios as to why you wouldn’t want to know to me, as well as my rebuttals…

  1. (Hardcore shrill hillbilly accent): You wanna be on the TV show!! Me: Ridiculous. I don’t even care about cars. I drive a Yaris for fuck sake. I don’t even know what your car show is about, really..from what I’ve seen it’s like American Pickers but with cars. So no, I’ll pass, thanks..
  2. (Hardcore shrill hillbilly accent): You want your band’s music on the TV show!! Me: No. I’m approaching 50 years of age, hitting up potential contacts is not my trip anymore. I have a YouTube channel ( If I feel the need to ‘hit someone up’ I’ll use my subscribers and people in the music community to do that.
  3. (Hardcore shrill hillbilly accent): You want mah money!! Me: Why would I want that? I have a job and make my own money. What I wanted was a relationship with a distant relative, nothing more. On facebook even, we wouldn’t even have to meet in real life..Fairly convenient I’d say.
  4. (Hardcore shrill hillbilly accent): You’re a fuckin’ asshole!! Me: Well, that may be true, ha ha. If I’m not your cup o’ tea, at least have the balls to say it in chat!! How would that go down? Hi, from the two minutes I’ve taken to look at your website and your videos, I don’t think you and I would ever get along, so go fuck yourself.  I would have preferred that to what I got, which was the ole’ block/delete. Ruuuuude!!!
  5. (Hardcore shrill hillbilly accent): Your daddy was mean to my daddy!! Has nothing to do with us and you’re going off topic, love..

So, dear cousin..What did I do or not do? I am truly perplexed. Was my approach wrong? Should I have fawned over you, maybe kissed more ass in the beginning? If it was the other way around and you were contacting me, I would have handled this much differently.

So, my email address is

Feel free to email me and explain to me your side and I’ll remove this here post.

Until then, I want people to know what kind of person you can be.

John Lewis Sanders, Melbourne Australia






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